On March 29, 2005, stand-up comic Mitch Hedberg died. To honor this anniversary and his career, Buzzfeed collected and ranked nearly every single one of his jokes.
275. I travel with a boom box. When I get on a plane, I stuff the power cord for the boom box into the battery compartment. From an outsider’s point of view, it looks like I’ve got it all wrong.
274. Advil has a candy coating. It’s delicious. And it says right on the bottle “Do not have more than two.” Well then do not put a candy coating around it.
273. I had a job interview at an insurance company once and the lady said “Where do you see yourself in five years?” I said “Celebrating the fifth year anniversary of you asking me this question.”
272. I fuckin’ hate arrows, man. They try to tell me which direction to go. It’s like, “Fuck you, I ain’t going that way, line with two thirds of a triangle on the end!”
271. Acid was my favorite drug. Acid opened up my mind, it expanded my mind. Because of acid, I now know that butter is way better than margarine. I saw through the bullshit.
Click on the pic below to read the next 270 jokes of Mitch Hedberg.